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An open apology to Jimmy Curran

I still hate you though.

"That's good. Um. But you gotta... just do that better."

Dear Jimmy,

You know Bonaddio, right? He's the guy who always shows up to the bar, orders a craft beer and wings, and then disappears? Anyway, I was helping him with a fantasy football league audition tape (yes, that's a thing, and yes, it is an unhealthy obsession he has), when I had the unfortunate chance to capture my world-renowned constructive criticism on camera. "Just do that better." It made me think of that little snippet from "I Hate You Jimmy" :

"Now, Jimmy will admit that he is terrible at receiving any sort of criticism, being that so few people actually say anything bad to him. I will admit that I am not always the best at relaying that in the most sensitive manner. People often seemed surprised to find out that we get in arguments, and it still surprises me when they are surprised."

Truth is, I thought this brief little paragraph was a waste of space. Two people who disagree . . . Who cares? I want to share the interesting stuff - the first college party or the bartender that wouldn't serve you or how you conquered that utterly ridiculous job debacle when you came out of college (just like I know you are going to do now).

What struck me though, is those little, common, micro-events are what makes up a relationship. While that aspect of our relationship got one paragraph in the book, it got me thinking about how much time we spent having productive conversations (or what you would call, "arguing") as a result of what that paragraph mentions? Surely a lot more time than we spent at that epic first party, or in the bar when you didn't get served, or with that jackass who tried to squeeze me for those chips in Kansas City.

I understand it's easier to congratulate a promotion, than to praise late nights at the office, missing time with friends and family. Or that the the wedding is more appealing than the marriage. Or that the game is the focus rather than practice (yeah... we talking bout practice.) It's the way we are wired I guess - we forget about 100 little events and instead focus on one big event, even though the big event is smaller in time, and most of the time, you could argue, impact.

Anyway, this is me rambling and trying to paint a bigger picture in order to delay actually apologizing to you. So I am sorry that I don't always know how to express my criticism constructively. Note: this is not necessarily saying you are right all the time ... just acknowledging that I caught myself on camera doing something that I could have done better.

That being said . . . Bonaddio's next take was a lot better.

P.S. I originally wanted a picture of a snowflake up top, but I didn't want people to politicize me calling you soft. Instead, I went with "sunshine and rainbows," in reference to Rocky Balboa saying "the world ain't always sunshine and rainbows." 

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